Asking Friends to Be Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
It’s happening: you’re getting married. You successfully popped the question or answered with an enthusiastic “yes!” Now you’re planning your wedding with a mixture of joy and panic. There’s so much to be done, including asking friends to be bridesmaids or groomsmen.
Asking friends to be groomsmen or bridesmaids is an important moment. You’re letting friends know they’re important enough to you that you want them to be in your bridal party—and that’s huge. How do you convince someone to take on such an important role? You could simply ask them, of course, but we think “proposing” to your potential bridesmaids and groomsmen requires a more imaginative approach.
Asking Friends to be Bridesmaids
Asking friends to be bridesmaids is exciting, and watching friends’ faces when they realize you want them to be in the bridal party is great fun. Because it’s such an important question, you want the way you ask to be meaningful. Here’s a list of possible ways to ask friends to stand by you on your special day:
- Deliver a bouquet of flowers to your friend with a handwritten message “popping the question.”
- Have the question printed on bottles of wine.
- Have a spa day for all your potential bridesmaids, and give each one a cosmetic bag filled with beauty products and your invitation.
- Create an Instagram album celebrating your friends and use the last page of the album to ask if they’ll be your bridesmaids.
- Put the invitations in inflated silver balloons and have friends pop the balloon to see what’s inside.
- Ice the invitation on homemade cookies.
- Go shopping with your besties and give them monogrammed totes with invitations inside
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Asking Friends to be Groomsmen
Asking friends to be groomsmen is usually greeted with less screaming and hugging than asking friends to be bridesmaids, but don’t be fooled—under that gruff, masculine exterior your buddies are deeply touched.
Asking friends to be groomsmen often calls for a little showmanship. You want your groomsmen to know that you value their friendship, but exactly how you express it depends on you and your buddies. Sometimes it’s as easy as raising a glass and asking directly. Other times a certain sophistication is called for. You might consider asking friends to be groomsmen by:
- Engraving the invitation on a bottle of their favorite liquor,
- Presenting them with a fine cigar and the invitation,
- Planning a lunch or get-together where you can ask everyone at once,
- Sending fun cards with messages like “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to stand by me and make sure I get the ring on her finger.”
Sending a gift when asking friends to be groomsmen shows you appreciate their willingness to be part of your wedding. A smart messenger bag filled with items they’ll need for the big day (cuff links, pens, ties, etc.) is sure to be appreciated.
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There are no hard and fast rules for asking friends to be bridesmaids or groomsmen, and that includes matters of gender. If you’ve been friends with a cousin all your life, there’s no reason he or she can’t stand by your side as you exchange your vows. This is your wedding, after all!
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